I was very rambling in my original review of the film, simply because there are so many things to cover that explain just how putrid the latest DC comics blockbuster is. So here, and more coherently, are 10 things wrong with Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice.
10. The Ending Feels Out Of Place
After the final fight with Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman against Doomsday in which Superman is 'killed' (more on that later), the film ends with the funeral of Superman. That's a bold step and is fine in the story, but when you've spent nigh-on 20 minutes with the final battle, a slow paced sequence feels anti-climactic and out of place. That's not even covering the coming back to life angle with the dirt rising from the coffin - on Easter weekend of all weekends! Not only is the funeral of Superman squeezed into this short final scene, but also Batman and Wonder Woman discuss the set up of the Justice League in probably the most poorly built story direction in history! (Once again, more on that later). Just have Superman die and that's it, instead of shoe horning in a scene that allows you to explain the point of the next film.
9. Doomsday Only Shows Up For A Bit At The End
Lex Luther's whole mantra in the movie is he hates the idea of God. He therefore wants to eliminate Superman, but when the title characters end up siding together against this newly created foe in Doomsday from the corpse of Zod, it feels a bit "oh right, there's a bit scary thing, let's go kill it", rather than there actually being any build up to what should be a massive confrontation.
8. Lois Lane's 50/50 Appearance
Lois Lane is fine in the first half of the film. In her role as a journalist at the Daily Planet, she uncovers potential corruption - although it's never thoroughly explored - and in the grand scheme of the film actually has a function. That function, however, is lost in the second half as she purely serves as a vehicle for the object (the Kryptonite spear) which she inadvertently keeps dropping and finding again and in the end needs Superman to save both her and the spear. It's the typical sexist 'damsel in distress' plot convention and it completely tatters any credibility she had in the first place.
7. Superman Screen Time And Role
You would have thought, after Man Of Steel, Zack Snyder would want to build on the character of Superman? But no. Henry Cavill has almost literally nothing to do throughout the film - except disappear for a bit, get blown up but stay alive, and finally die in his attempt to kill Doomsday. It was a bold step to kill off Superman, but seems in part to have been done to replace the actor. It's no real fault of Cavill, but in the last two films Superman has been a massive charisma vacuum, left only to scowl and look a bit moody.
6. Lex Luther/Jesse Eisenberg
There are two versions of Lex Luther; the maniacal doctor and the imposing businessman. Jesse Eisenberg tried blending both and it comes off annoyingly badly. He keeps making weird squeaking noises and snivelling; it's really mad, but not in a method acting way. Also, Eisenberg is quite a bit younger and shorter than Ben Affleck and Cavill, so in scenes like the party, he comes off like an annoying prepubescent teenager trying to play cool with the sports guys in the playground.
5. The End Fight With Doomsday Is Anti-climactic
Back to this again! After two hours of build up, Zack Snyder presents us with a long, messy fight sequence. In any other film - where the plot isn't given away in the trailer - we may well have been happy to be surprised with the appearance of Doomsday as Luther's tool of destruction, but in this it feels like a incoherent attempt to unite all the main characters. And once it's finished feels like 'meh, ok', and hasn't in any way built on the story. It was literally just a fight.
4. Batman Is Never Bruce Wayne
Ben Affleck presents Batman as an older, grizzly, almost morally corrupt character. Far removed from Christian Bale's 'Dark Knight'. However there're never any scenes where Ben Affleck isn't Batman. Even in the scenes where he appears as Bruce Wayne - at the party and in the Bat Cave with Alfred, for example - he's dealing with matters relating to Batman. This is in stark contrast to Superman who features more often as Clark Kent. Yes, even as Kent he is constantly focused on Batman, but it's in the context of Kent as a journalist trying to get a story. Although it does still baffle me why the glasses disguise hasn't been updated for this modern audience?! It seems ludicrous that in the Internet age, the general public wouldn't see pictures of the Superman and Clark Kent and think, 'oh wait hang on, these two look really similar!'
3. The Batman v Superman fight
This film is billed as the clashing of the two most iconic superheroes in DC comics, but when the fight happens, it's all because Luther has captured Superman's mother and orders him to kill Batman if he wants to see her again... It's not out of personal vengeance, it's because some wacko told him to?! The fight lasts about five minutes and the only thing of note in it is that Batman uses grenades containing Kryptonite gas to weaken Superman. And of course the ending is pathetic! Beaten to defeat and with Batman's foot on his throat, Superman keeps mouthing a name - Martha. 'Coincidently', Batman and Superman's mothers both share the same first name and, out of what can only be called misplaced empathy, this is enough to make Batman stop the assault that entire movie is based on. This is a fight that neither of the two superheroes want to be in, and therefore it's really lack lustre and confusing how they got there in the first place.
2. Setting Up The Justice League Is Messy And Rushed
We all knew that this film was going to be the prequel to the highly anticipated 'Justice League'. What we didn't know was how incredibly poor the set up was going to be! In a film that's two hours and 30 minutes long, you would have assumed the studio would have been able to fit this major plot point in somewhere in amongst the massive clusterf**k that are the fights and the plot. All we're shown are video files in an email that detail the four meta-humans; Wonder Woman, The Flash, Cyborg and Aqua Man. So we have the knowledge that there are more meta-humans out there, but the way they set up finding them is just drivel. At Superman's funeral, Batman and Wonder Woman openly discuss these other meta-humans before Batman asks, "Can you help me find them and fight?" REALLY?! That's it?! Wow, talk about one film being set up by one minute of dialogue! So messy.
1. The Storyline
And now the big one; the storyline! It's incoherent beyond belief, makes no sense in places, and completely devalues the importance and motivations of the characters. It's all well and good having mindless action, but when your entire movie revolves around the plot and nothing really happens of importance in two and a half hours, there's a massive issue. Also, there's no depth - everything is on the surface with no deeper meaning or consequence, and by the end it results in nothing actually happening that would be considered note worthy. For a film that is that long however, it doesn't drag. It's one paced so everything flies by at one million mph, which is why it's so confusing and difficult to decipher. Zack Snyder throws event after event after event in your face so quickly you become numb to what is happening because it's all rushed.
So there's my list. I gave it 2/5 in my original review and I'm happily sticking with that. The action is framed well and some of the shots are fantastic, but the one dimensional nature of the storyline massively lets the whole thing down.
Thursday 31 March 2016
Monday 28 March 2016
Joe Bonamassa - Blues of Desperation album review
Joe Bonamassa returns in 2016 to treat us to yet another Blues Rock extravaganza on his 12th studio album; 'Blues of Desperation'. An intended follow-up to 2014's all original 'Different Shades of Blue', 'Blues of Desperation' is, to quote the man himself: "The prevailing sail in a sea of Blues and Rock".
JB said in the run up to the release that his latest album would have a harder edge, although still keeping it's feet firmly in the blues. He certainly delivers on the promise, with the first track 'This Train' and 'Mountain Climbing' opening with monstrous, stomping riffs and ending as only JB knows how, with intricate, euphoric solos.
There's also a softer side. 'Drive' is a smooth, chilled out track with an old American wilderness feel; perfect for driving through the middle of nowhere with the roof down.
Our first experience of classic blues on the album comes on track four. 'No Good Place For The Lonely' - the longest track of the 61 minute LP at 8:39 - is as perfect a blues track as you're likely to hear, and will no doubt become a Bonamassa classic to accompany fellow epic, 'Sloe Gin'. As every great blues track should, it starts slow and deliberate, before diving head first into a sultry, perfectly phrased guitar solo, overflowing with feel. With this example alone, JB is cementing himself as one of the great guitar players of all time.
JB has never been afraid of changing up the musical styles within his albums before and this time is no different. I was surprised to find a jazz infused track full of sassy saxophone and piano, 'Livin Easy', which provides a divergent flavour to an already tasty album. As it glides along effortlessly, like a warm knife through butter, you can't help but get into the feel of the song.
The title track is classic Bonamassa but with a middle-eastern essence; echoed vocals, Sitar, slide guitar and lots of soaring, screeching Theremin. It's probably the most complex track on the album but JB keeps everything neat and never allows the sounds to discombobulate.
Finally, we get root Blues, Bonamassa style. 'What I've Known for a Very Long Time', accompanied by saxophones, trumpets, piano and organ, starts off as slow as can be while gathering pace with every verse. It teases too, reaching a peak before slowing right down again.
Bonamassa evokes so much emotion from the combination of his playing and lyrics that it's very difficult to not get lost in every track. This is his longest album since 2011's 'Dust Bowl', but even after an hour I still wanted to play it through again and again.
'Blues of Desperation' is a very complete sounding album. Nothing sounds out of place and showcases a bit of everything JB can do; from slow chilled out acoustic with harmonies to blistering hard rock on one of his exquisitely expensive Les Pauls.
Verdict 9/10
JB said in the run up to the release that his latest album would have a harder edge, although still keeping it's feet firmly in the blues. He certainly delivers on the promise, with the first track 'This Train' and 'Mountain Climbing' opening with monstrous, stomping riffs and ending as only JB knows how, with intricate, euphoric solos.
There's also a softer side. 'Drive' is a smooth, chilled out track with an old American wilderness feel; perfect for driving through the middle of nowhere with the roof down.
Our first experience of classic blues on the album comes on track four. 'No Good Place For The Lonely' - the longest track of the 61 minute LP at 8:39 - is as perfect a blues track as you're likely to hear, and will no doubt become a Bonamassa classic to accompany fellow epic, 'Sloe Gin'. As every great blues track should, it starts slow and deliberate, before diving head first into a sultry, perfectly phrased guitar solo, overflowing with feel. With this example alone, JB is cementing himself as one of the great guitar players of all time.
JB has never been afraid of changing up the musical styles within his albums before and this time is no different. I was surprised to find a jazz infused track full of sassy saxophone and piano, 'Livin Easy', which provides a divergent flavour to an already tasty album. As it glides along effortlessly, like a warm knife through butter, you can't help but get into the feel of the song.
The title track is classic Bonamassa but with a middle-eastern essence; echoed vocals, Sitar, slide guitar and lots of soaring, screeching Theremin. It's probably the most complex track on the album but JB keeps everything neat and never allows the sounds to discombobulate.
Finally, we get root Blues, Bonamassa style. 'What I've Known for a Very Long Time', accompanied by saxophones, trumpets, piano and organ, starts off as slow as can be while gathering pace with every verse. It teases too, reaching a peak before slowing right down again.
Bonamassa evokes so much emotion from the combination of his playing and lyrics that it's very difficult to not get lost in every track. This is his longest album since 2011's 'Dust Bowl', but even after an hour I still wanted to play it through again and again.
'Blues of Desperation' is a very complete sounding album. Nothing sounds out of place and showcases a bit of everything JB can do; from slow chilled out acoustic with harmonies to blistering hard rock on one of his exquisitely expensive Les Pauls.
Verdict 9/10
Friday 25 March 2016
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice spoiler free review - A steaming pile of incoherant rubbish
I'm struggling with where to start. I guess, firstly, the pros; Ben Affleck is great as a vengeful Batman, and the low key one on one combat scenes with Affleck and armed guards are well executed. It's clear Affleck took getting the look for this character right very seriously!
However, everything else is cons. The storyline is convoluted, incoherent and messily arranged; Henry Cavill isn't given anything meaningful to do and is just left to look moody and scowl occasionally; it takes 90 minutes to set up a seemingly endless fight that has no substance; and finally, Jesse Eisenberg is awful as the maniacal Lex Luther.
Let me break that all down a bit for you.
The film begins the other side of the end of Man Of Steel with Superman fighting Zod and destroying most of Metropolis, with Bruce Wayne watching broodily on. Zach Snyder, who also did Man Of Steel, has real trouble balancing the storyline with fight scenes and in the end we get both but without any meaningful link. We're never entirely sure why Batman and Superman start fighting, and then when it ends on the mention of Superman's mother, Martha, it's all a bit anti-climactic; like, is that it? The reason for why Lex Luther brings back Zod as Doomsday is never explained, and appears to have been put in just to fill the last 30 minutes and give all three superheroes something to come together for.
There are far, far too many elements being juggled for the ending to make any sense. They spend so long on the final fight with Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman against Doomsday, that they forget they need to somehow set up the film coming after this one. To set up the film, while at a funeral, Bruce Wayne and Wonder Women discuss setting up a squad to fight with all the meta-humans Bruce found and showed her from Lex Luther's hard drive. It's so messy. As if they finished the final cut and thought, "Oh crap, we forgot to set up the next one!" so just put one quick scene in an the end to save themselves; it hasn't worked.
Add to that the seriously annoying presence of Eisenberg's Lex Luther. He's going for crazy psychopath, but instead comes across as over the top and trying too hard to make the character his own. It's his weird Mark Zuckerburg turned up to 11.
And then there's the question why Lois Lane is even in the film. She starts off as a credible journalist and doing lots of investigative work - great - but by the end is just the girl who keeps finding and dropping the object that's pivotal to the ending. In addition to that, Wonder Woman, with her lasso of truth, is the only superhero that can keep Doomsday in one place in the final fight; a dirty metaphor perhaps?!
Verdict - 2/5
Not much else to say except very disappointing. I wouldn't say don't see it, but it's not worth getting excited about.
However, everything else is cons. The storyline is convoluted, incoherent and messily arranged; Henry Cavill isn't given anything meaningful to do and is just left to look moody and scowl occasionally; it takes 90 minutes to set up a seemingly endless fight that has no substance; and finally, Jesse Eisenberg is awful as the maniacal Lex Luther.
Let me break that all down a bit for you.
The film begins the other side of the end of Man Of Steel with Superman fighting Zod and destroying most of Metropolis, with Bruce Wayne watching broodily on. Zach Snyder, who also did Man Of Steel, has real trouble balancing the storyline with fight scenes and in the end we get both but without any meaningful link. We're never entirely sure why Batman and Superman start fighting, and then when it ends on the mention of Superman's mother, Martha, it's all a bit anti-climactic; like, is that it? The reason for why Lex Luther brings back Zod as Doomsday is never explained, and appears to have been put in just to fill the last 30 minutes and give all three superheroes something to come together for.
There are far, far too many elements being juggled for the ending to make any sense. They spend so long on the final fight with Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman against Doomsday, that they forget they need to somehow set up the film coming after this one. To set up the film, while at a funeral, Bruce Wayne and Wonder Women discuss setting up a squad to fight with all the meta-humans Bruce found and showed her from Lex Luther's hard drive. It's so messy. As if they finished the final cut and thought, "Oh crap, we forgot to set up the next one!" so just put one quick scene in an the end to save themselves; it hasn't worked.
Add to that the seriously annoying presence of Eisenberg's Lex Luther. He's going for crazy psychopath, but instead comes across as over the top and trying too hard to make the character his own. It's his weird Mark Zuckerburg turned up to 11.
And then there's the question why Lois Lane is even in the film. She starts off as a credible journalist and doing lots of investigative work - great - but by the end is just the girl who keeps finding and dropping the object that's pivotal to the ending. In addition to that, Wonder Woman, with her lasso of truth, is the only superhero that can keep Doomsday in one place in the final fight; a dirty metaphor perhaps?!
Verdict - 2/5
Not much else to say except very disappointing. I wouldn't say don't see it, but it's not worth getting excited about.
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