10 Things Wrong With Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice

I was very rambling in my original review of the film, simply because there are so many things to cover that explain just how putrid the latest DC comics blockbuster is. So here, and more coherently, are 10 things wrong with Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice.

10. The Ending Feels Out Of Place

After the final fight with Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman against Doomsday in which Superman is 'killed' (more on that later), the film ends with the funeral of Superman. That's a bold step and is fine in the story, but when you've spent nigh-on 20 minutes with the final battle, a slow paced sequence feels anti-climactic and out of place. That's not even covering the coming back to life angle with the dirt rising from the coffin - on Easter weekend of all weekends!  Not only is the funeral of Superman squeezed into this short final scene, but also Batman and Wonder Woman discuss the set up of the Justice League in probably the most poorly built story direction in history! (Once again, more on that later). Just have Superman die and that's it, instead of shoe horning in a scene that allows you to explain the point of the next film.

9. Doomsday Only Shows Up For A Bit At The End

Lex Luther's whole mantra in the movie is he hates the idea of God. He therefore wants to eliminate Superman, but when the title characters end up siding together against this newly created foe in Doomsday from the corpse of Zod, it feels a bit "oh right, there's a bit scary thing, let's go kill it", rather than there actually being any build up to what should be a massive confrontation.

8. Lois Lane's 50/50 Appearance

Lois Lane is fine in the first half of the film. In her role as a journalist at the Daily Planet, she uncovers potential corruption - although it's never thoroughly explored - and in the grand scheme of the film actually has a function. That function, however, is lost in the second half as she purely serves as a vehicle for the object (the Kryptonite spear) which she inadvertently keeps dropping and finding again and in the end needs Superman to save both her and the spear. It's the typical sexist 'damsel in distress' plot convention and it completely tatters any credibility she had in the first place.

7. Superman Screen Time And Role

You would have thought, after Man Of Steel, Zack Snyder would want to build on the character of Superman? But no. Henry Cavill has almost literally nothing to do throughout the film - except disappear for a bit, get blown up but stay alive, and finally die in his attempt to kill Doomsday. It was a bold step to kill off Superman, but seems in part to have been done to replace the actor. It's no real fault of Cavill, but in the last two films Superman has been a massive charisma vacuum, left only to scowl and look a bit moody.

6. Lex Luther/Jesse Eisenberg

There are two versions of Lex Luther; the maniacal doctor and the imposing businessman. Jesse Eisenberg tried blending both and it comes off annoyingly badly. He keeps making weird squeaking noises and snivelling; it's really mad, but not in a method acting way. Also, Eisenberg is quite a bit younger and shorter than Ben Affleck and Cavill, so in scenes like the party, he comes off like an annoying prepubescent teenager trying to play cool with the sports guys in the playground.

5. The End Fight With Doomsday Is Anti-climactic

Back to this again! After two hours of build up, Zack Snyder presents us with a long, messy fight sequence. In any other film - where the plot isn't given away in the trailer - we may well have been happy to be surprised with the appearance of Doomsday as Luther's tool of destruction, but in this it feels like a incoherent attempt to unite all the main characters. And once it's finished feels like 'meh, ok', and hasn't in any way built on the story. It was literally just a fight.

4. Batman Is Never Bruce Wayne

Ben Affleck presents Batman as an older, grizzly, almost morally corrupt character. Far removed from Christian Bale's 'Dark Knight'. However there're never any scenes where Ben Affleck isn't Batman. Even in the scenes where he appears as Bruce Wayne - at the party and in the Bat Cave with Alfred, for example - he's dealing with matters relating to Batman. This is in stark contrast to Superman who features more often as Clark Kent. Yes, even as Kent he is constantly focused on Batman, but it's in the context of Kent as a journalist trying to get a story. Although it does still baffle me why the glasses disguise hasn't been updated for this modern audience?! It seems ludicrous that in the Internet age, the general public wouldn't see pictures of the Superman and Clark Kent and think, 'oh wait hang on, these two look really similar!'

3. The Batman v Superman fight

This film is billed as the clashing of the two most iconic superheroes in DC comics, but when the fight happens, it's all because Luther has captured Superman's mother and orders him to kill Batman if he wants to see her again... It's not out of personal vengeance, it's because some wacko told him to?! The fight lasts about five minutes and the only thing of note in it is that Batman uses grenades containing Kryptonite gas to weaken Superman. And of course the ending is pathetic! Beaten to defeat and with Batman's foot on his throat, Superman keeps mouthing a name - Martha. 'Coincidently', Batman and Superman's mothers both share the same first name and, out of what can only be called misplaced empathy, this is enough to make Batman stop the assault that entire movie is based on. This is a fight that neither of the two superheroes want to be in, and therefore it's really lack lustre and confusing how they got there in the first place.

2. Setting Up The Justice League Is Messy And Rushed

We all knew that this film was going to be the prequel to the highly anticipated 'Justice League'. What we didn't know was how incredibly poor the set up was going to be! In a film that's two hours and 30 minutes long, you would have assumed the studio would have been able to fit this major plot point in somewhere in amongst the massive clusterf**k that are the fights and the plot. All we're shown are video files in an email that detail the four meta-humans; Wonder Woman, The Flash, Cyborg and Aqua Man. So we have the knowledge that there are more meta-humans out there, but the way they set up finding them is just drivel. At Superman's funeral, Batman and Wonder Woman openly discuss these other meta-humans before Batman asks, "Can you help me find them and fight?" REALLY?! That's it?! Wow, talk about one film being set up by one minute of dialogue! So messy.

1. The Storyline

And now the big one; the storyline! It's incoherent beyond belief, makes no sense in places, and completely devalues the importance and motivations of the characters. It's all well and good having mindless action, but when your entire movie revolves around the plot and nothing really happens of importance in two and a half hours, there's a massive issue. Also, there's no depth - everything is on the surface with no deeper meaning or consequence, and by the end it results in nothing actually happening that would be considered note worthy. For a film that is that long however, it doesn't drag. It's one paced so everything flies by at one million mph, which is why it's so confusing and difficult to decipher. Zack Snyder throws event after event after event in your face so quickly you become numb to what is happening because it's all rushed.

So there's my list. I gave it 2/5 in my original review and I'm happily sticking with that. The action is framed well and some of the shots are fantastic, but the one dimensional nature of the storyline massively lets the whole thing down.